Coming home.
I'm struggling to decide how to start this entry...and even questioning if I should.
Today was my first time back on the bike in over a year.
Rather than beating around the bush about it, I'll just fess up here and now. I am super out of shape. There are approximately 3.7 jillion factors, but a big one has been that I have clinical depression. There, it's out. Anyway, I've been told that pushing myself to do the things I used to really enjoy will be helpful in recovering.
So, I'm here, with bikes again.
It's really hard, both physically and mentally, to get back on the proverbial horse. Today, I rode for twenty minutes down the road and back. Even getting to this point was hard. If you are familiar with depression, you may be familiar with the Impossible Task. One of my Impossible Tasks has been getting on the bike. My road shoes broke, so I had to get new cleats for my mtb shoes. This seems like a problem that would be a quick and easy fix with a simple Amazon order, but that's not how my depressive brain works. It was hard. Ultimately Dan ordered the cleats for me. I had to air the tires of my bike. I had to put on (gasp) bibs. And the list of Things That Must Be Done To Ride goes on.
So anyway, I did all the stuff. I am shocked I still managed to fit into my bibs, but I guess I shouldn't be so shocked considering they're just spandex tubes without so much as a waistband. The jerseys were not so forgiving and I settled for a pleasantly loose tank top.
My legs knew just what to do when my feet clicked effortlessly into the eggbeaters. Pleased as punch, I was off to a good start for all of about a minute, until the rain started. I'd thought I could beat it, but I was wrong. It started out with refreshing little sprinkles that evolved into a torrent of eye-stinging bullets. A mile was all I could take before turning tail for shelter. By the time I got home, rivers were running down the sides of the gravel road and I was thoroughly soaked.
Everything was muddy. Despite it being a bit of a failure, I still felt good getting my heart rate up and covered in mud. I threw the clothes into the washer and threw myself into the shower. When I got out, the sun was shining. Sigh.
Tomorrow I am going to try it again, hopefully with less rain.
Today was my first time back on the bike in over a year.
Rather than beating around the bush about it, I'll just fess up here and now. I am super out of shape. There are approximately 3.7 jillion factors, but a big one has been that I have clinical depression. There, it's out. Anyway, I've been told that pushing myself to do the things I used to really enjoy will be helpful in recovering.
So, I'm here, with bikes again.
It's really hard, both physically and mentally, to get back on the proverbial horse. Today, I rode for twenty minutes down the road and back. Even getting to this point was hard. If you are familiar with depression, you may be familiar with the Impossible Task. One of my Impossible Tasks has been getting on the bike. My road shoes broke, so I had to get new cleats for my mtb shoes. This seems like a problem that would be a quick and easy fix with a simple Amazon order, but that's not how my depressive brain works. It was hard. Ultimately Dan ordered the cleats for me. I had to air the tires of my bike. I had to put on (gasp) bibs. And the list of Things That Must Be Done To Ride goes on.
So anyway, I did all the stuff. I am shocked I still managed to fit into my bibs, but I guess I shouldn't be so shocked considering they're just spandex tubes without so much as a waistband. The jerseys were not so forgiving and I settled for a pleasantly loose tank top.
My legs knew just what to do when my feet clicked effortlessly into the eggbeaters. Pleased as punch, I was off to a good start for all of about a minute, until the rain started. I'd thought I could beat it, but I was wrong. It started out with refreshing little sprinkles that evolved into a torrent of eye-stinging bullets. A mile was all I could take before turning tail for shelter. By the time I got home, rivers were running down the sides of the gravel road and I was thoroughly soaked.
Everything was muddy. Despite it being a bit of a failure, I still felt good getting my heart rate up and covered in mud. I threw the clothes into the washer and threw myself into the shower. When I got out, the sun was shining. Sigh.
Tomorrow I am going to try it again, hopefully with less rain.
posted by Carrie at
10:24 PM
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