Icefail

DNF. I made it 22 miles then pulled out at the last aid station. Serves me right for publicly saying "I feel prepared."

Picture from my friend Amanda. Not of me, but this is pretty indicative of how the race went...

So many things went wrong. I should've known I was in for trouble when I realized the morning of that I forgot my chamois cream at home. Right off the bat, my computer stopped working so for most of the race I had no idea how fast I was going, how far I'd gone, or how long I'd been out there. (Which ended up being a LONG time.) Occasionally when I hit a bump or jiggled it a little it would pop back on for a few minutes, but for the most part it was useless.

By the time I was on the course (wave 41 at 11:07, so over 3,000 people had already been in front of me) the course was a muddy mess for the most part. The snow from the night before had melted and the singletrack areas were just disgusting. Thick, black, oily mud.

Fairly early on, I crashed. Someone went down in front of me on a big root, I tried to correct for it and went down on the same root. It tore up my right thigh and I was in pain for the rest of the race. Hell, I'm STILL in pain from that.

Things were going okay until I reached a sandy, muddy downhill area of two-track...I was indecisive about picking my line, and tried crossing the snowy median to get a better one. I slid out on the snow and landed on my tummy, in the mud, with my bike on top of me, still clipped into both pedals. After some flailing around like a half-paralyzed zombie, I managed to get both feet unclipped, but still couldn't really move. Someone stopped and pulled my bike off me, and made sure I was okay. (Thank you, whoever you are!) This crash hurt even more than the first, because I was going a lot faster and landed a LOT harder. I had to walk for a while before I was feeling good enough to get back on the bike.

At about that time, I realized my food was no longer in my pocket. Somewhere (I'm guessing when I first crashed) it must've fallen out without me noticing because I was hurriedly trying to get back on the bike. Lesson of the day: check your pockets when you crash. This was my biggest downfall, because it caused me to bonk about 10 miles from the finish. I succumbed to the sleepy, dizzy, disorienting low-blood-sugar-ickiness that is the bonk. Even on the flat, solid areas I had trouble keeping my balance on the bike, and the parts I walked, I had to lean on the bike for balance to keep from falling over. It was all I could do to make it to the next aid station, I knew I couldn't go any further.

I am very hard on myself, especially when I fail to meet my goals. I arrived at the aid station crying. I have never felt as much disappointment in myself as I did then—giving up, failing, demoralized. Some nice people drove me to the finish and gave me some amazing banana bread. I devoured it.

Recap of shit that went wrong:

1. No chamois cream
2. Computer stopped working
3. Crashed
4. ...Crashed again
5. Lost my food
6. Dropped my chain...multiple times
7. Bonked
8. Emotional breakdown at the last aid station
9. DNF

I did do a few things right though!

1. I wore the right clothing this time—didn't get too hot or cold!
2. Good tire choice
3. ...Unfortunately, that's about it.

I went back to my hotel and showered. Slept. Ate. Went to the afterparty and had to explain my failure to everyone who asked how I did. I drank way more than I should have, and had a generally awesome time. (Except for losing my phone. But I found it later, so it ended up being okay.)

I'll be back next year. I'm starting to feel better, both physically and emotionally. For now, I'm going to take advantage of the beautiful, 60ºF weather right now and go for a ride.